The floor quaked and cracked, and out sprung millions upon millions of black-robed men, women and children, wands pointed skyward, a chorus of spells and songs filling the air.
The Potterheads had awoken.
So... yeah.... Harry Potter is back.....
Okay, okay, okay *takes deep breath* I'm okay.... But only because this news broke my sanity. Here's a recap of the events:
[First hearing the news]
[Reading the news article on EntertainmentWeekly.com]
[Aaaaaaaaaaaand the aftermath]
That last gif pretty much sums up my brain right now. Queen Rowling has broken my sanity!
Oh well, I wasn't that sane to begin with.
Anyways, HOLYWIZARDGOD WE'RE GETTING ANOTHER MOVIE!!! Hehehehe, you guys do know what this means, right? Harry Potter came back before Sherlock did.
OUCH! Jeez, Iron Man.
Okay, that joke was in bad taste. Erm.... Moving on.
There are a couple of things about this news though that sort of got under my skin. Which is the main reason I created this blog. I think I talked my mom to death about it.
Well, not so much the news itself, more the world's reaction to the news. Here are the two things that pissed me off the most:
1. Peoples' reaction to it taking place in New York.
2. A poll done on what people want to see in the new movie.
Let's start with the poll one first though, because it really pissed me off the most.
So, a poll was done on Moviepilot.com that showed what people wanted to see the most in the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them. Most people voted to see a young Albus Dumbledore and, yeah, that'd be cool, don't get me wrong.
Here's what pissed me off though.
EVERYONE VOTED TO SEE THE SAME CREATURES THAT WERE INTRODUCED IN THE HARRY POTTER SERIES!!!!!!!
I mean... ohmyGod people! This is freaking Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them THE MOVIE!!!! It is based off of a book that lists hundreds of different creatures that were even mentioned in the Harry Potter BOOKS, and most of which Queen Rowling created herself, and you want to see Thestrals and House Elves again?!
I mean, don't get me wrong, it would be very cool to see a wild herd of Hippogriffs and find out where House Elves came from, but give a little legroom for new creatures!
Personally, I want to see more Centaurs (yeah, yeah, I know they were in the movies and the books, but we didn't get to learn that much about them so they don't count).
Oh yeah, another thing from the poll, ONLY 5% OF PEOPLE VOTED TO SEE DRAGONS IN THE MOVIE!!!
I know, Dean. I know. Idiots.
I would go on an hour-long tangent about what complete morons these people are (I mean it's dragons in a Harry Potter spinoff.... Siriusly, guys?), but instead I'll sum up my feelings in one quote from the King of Fantasy himself,
"It's simply isn't an adventure worth telling if there aren't any dragons."
But aside from that, REALLY PEOPLE?! Okay, I'm not asking for there to be a dragon in every single scene, but if I don't get at least one battle with at least two dragons involved, somebody over at WB is going to be sent a Howler.
Heck, I'll settle for seeing a dragon colony from afar. How cool would that be? Like, Newt Scamander could be perched up on a high cliff with his notes out, watching some dragons down in a valley and studying them. We could see dragon nests, baby dragons (I miss Norbert/Norberta :( ), maybe even a dragon family (I'm pretty sure not all dragons are solitary. I'll have to reference my copy of Fantastic Beasts). It'd be freaking awesome!
Finally, something that people voted to see in the movie, was the old cast of Harry Potter.
But, guys, that wouldn't make a lot of sense. The film takes place 70 years before Sorcerer's Stone- in New York in the 1920's- which means not even Harry's parents are born yet. It'd make sense to see a young Albus Dumbledore though, because he was born back in 1881, so he'd be alive by now.
However, my mom had a good idea. What if this was a flashback film? Like, what if some of the students found a large trunk filled with all of these old notes by Newt Scamander, and they found like his journal and begin reading it, which then segues into the start of the movie. Like how The Hobbit started.
I think that'd be pretty cool.
This is actually a good transition into another reaction the community has had, which really got under my skin.
The fact that the movie is taking place in New York and not in Britain.
Ugh....
Okay people. First off, obviously the film is not going to be entirely in New York. It may start off in New York, but it's obviously going to move around a lot. Unless Newt Scamander just happened to discover every single magical creature in New York.
Second, people are saying (and I shit you not), that the film will be ruined because it takes place in America, and 'the Wizarding World' is entirely British.....
1. You guys are total idiots.
2. You guys are total idiots.
and 3. YOU GUYS ARE TOTAL IDIOTS!
I mean, do you really think that England 'owns' Harry Potter. It's true that J. K. Rowling is from England, and she wrote the books, BUT IT'S HARRY FREAKING POTTER!!!
NOT NOW STARKID!!!!
*Sigh* Okay..... Harry Potter is not 'owned' by any one country. It is worldwide. It's universal (because the Doctor also reads Harry Potter). It is something shared by people who live all the way across the world from each other. So to come out and say that 'it can't take place here because England owns it'.... Stop being a Muggle!
Also, what country was that small film company from that made the Harry Potter films? Oh yeah, AMERICA! So not only is your argument invalid, it's also insulting to Potterheads who were born and raised in America (and I am speaking as one).
So... stop being a bunch of Dursleys, and just be happy that we're getting another film. If I hear anyone else complain about the movie before it has even started filming yet, they are getting AVADA KEDAVRA'D!
*Takes deep breath*
Okay.... I think that's everything. Personally, I am hyped as hell for this movie. There's even rumors that this is going to become a movie series, which would be unbelievable.
And you guys do know what this means right? It means that a movie and/or book about the Hogwarts Founders is inevitable.
Yyyyyyyyyyyyup.
I hope you guys didn't fall asleep during my ranting. I might actually continue this blog. I don't know.
One more thing before I go though. Who would you guys like to see play Newt Scamander? For some reason I'm picturing the actor who played Dobby in the Harry Potter films, Toby Jones:
He just... fits. At least in my mind.
Then again there's little left of my mind.
~~~
The thoughts and opinions in this blog are strictly my own. Quote is from J. R. R. Tolkien for our more illiterate audience members.
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